30+ Former Bullies Share the Real Reasons Why They Bullied

This article appeared in ballercap.com and has been published here with permission.

Many bullies never change. They grow up and continue to be bullies in the workplace or at home, never learning the error of their ways. However, some bullies realize at some point that what they’re doing is wrong. From trouble at home to just being a stereotypical jock, these former bullies are opening up and sharing the real reasons why they used to bully — & how they’ve changed since.

Seeing From Their Perspective

It’s a common stereotype that kids who are “nerdy” or “geeky” are the ones who will end up getting bullied. They’re the kids who would supposedly prefer to stay home playing video games than deal with people.

Seeing From Their Perspective

It’s pretty sad that this guy didn’t ever stop to think about the effect the things he thought were funny had on other people until his coworkers basically forced him to face it. Better late than never, we guess.

From Mean Girl to Humiliated

We all get comfortable in our day-to-day environment, especially if we feel like we’re someone on top. So when we’re broken out of that bubble, it can be really jarring, like this girl experienced.

From Mean Girl to Humiliated

While it’s better for people to come to conclusions that what they’re doing is wrong on their own, sometimes it takes someone doing the same thing to them for them to realize how horrible they’re being. At least she changed after that.

Passing on the Pain

People who are going through some form of abuse tend to respond in two ways — they either vow to never treat others the way they’re being treated, or they treat others poorly to try to deal with their own pain.

Passing on the Pain

With younger people, the latter is pretty common, but it sounds like this person had good friends who stood up to them and helped them see the light. Being grumpy and being a bully are very different things.

Value in Existence

When we’re feeling hopeless, it can be hard to recognize that the way we behave and treat others does have an impact on them. It’s easy to feel like we’re unimportant and invisible, even though it isn’t true.

Value in Existence

The line, “Bullies are hurting and that’s why they bully” is kind of problematic. Lots of people in the world are hurting and don’t use it as an excuse to hurt those around them. The bully’s victims are allowed to feel frustrated.